By Anika Domanski
Your sexual energy is comprised of mind, body and spirit.
Tapping into these energies can awaken creativity, energy, inspiration and vibrancy into your life. Simply allowing our bodies to experience the juicy divinity of sexual pleasure, and deeper intimacy can take us to a place of healing, bliss and liberation.
Sex can be an incredibly positive and beautiful experience, even if you haven’t always felt this way.
Rediscovering your sexuality in healthy ways after trauma with an open mind, compassion and patience can help to deeply and passionately attune you to the pleasure, passion and connection that we all have the potential to enhance within ourselves.
In the process, be open to acknowledging and releasing stored emotions, sensations and memories in your body – and keep in mind sexual healing may not always feel sexy and that’s okay! When the time is right for you, do not underestimate the radically satiating pleasure possible to discover new things to enjoy about your body.
Here are some creative and intentional ways that you can explore to tap into your sexual energy:
1.GET TO KNOW YOUR BODY
Begin to explore your body consciously with a clear and sober mind. Carve out some time to do some solo endeavors where you can discover what its like to be you. Set the mood to something that feels sensual. Create the intention for your exploration to be light hearted and without expectations of what your experience should look like. Explore your body, for you.
To help get you feeling yourself:
-You can try creating a sensual environment using music, candles, flowers, edible aphrodisiacs, or other things to activate your senses.
– You can wear something that makes you feel confident or explore your body in the nude with a mirror.
-Simply begin by doing some physical self care, such as a warm bath or body massage with warm oils and scents.
Aim to explore curiously, without the expectation to orgasm or feel a certain way. Instead cultivate, release and experience any emotions that may come up while you intentionally reflect and utilize your body, just as it is. Sometimes the experience may feel uncomfortable and awkward other times you might feel like the sex goddess Aphrodite – but the more you get to know yourself, the more comfortable and empowered you give yourself the opportunity to be.
Exercise is known to increase energy, better sleep and overall health. Try yoga, dance, qi-qong or pick up a sport. These are all ways where you can begin to experience what it is like to consciously move your body and build an empowering relationship with yourself. Participate in activities that feel good to you. It’s a pleasure utilizing your body and exploring movements that can in turn help with coordination, endurance and flexibility – all that are fun ways to incorporate into your bedroom play.
3. BREATH WORK
Try taking conscious long and deep breathes, watch as the breath changes as the mood begins to warm up. Tune into the subtleties of the breath, which will help to attune yourself into the sensitiveness within your body.
Do you often tense your breathing or tense your body when you begin to feel sexually aroused? This is common, and often sexual energy can feel intense, exciting or an array of emotions and sensations that are surprising.
Try breathing smoothly and calmly while consciously relaxing your body parts while you receive or give pleasure. This helps to slow down your parasympathetic nervous system, and by receiving more oxygen this can help to stimulate, excite and simply bring awareness to the subtle arousing sensations in your body. Allow yourself to cultivate the awareness to savor in the timelessness and juiciness of your sexual moments.
How do you experience sexuality and gender in your life? What were the messages you received from your peers, media, family and society growing up? And what do you want your relationships to look like? How do you want to experience and express your sexuality? Leora Lightwoman ask questions like this in her book Tantra: The Path to Blissful Sex, to incorporate self reflection within sexual exploration. This is a valuable way to see what your own developed preconceived notions and beliefs are in regards to gender, sex, relationship dynamics and love.
Sometimes we hold onto past lovers, past memories, past experiences within our body. Jading us into a narrative of what we think sex, intimacy and relationships should look like etc. To be fair to your future self, know that every sexual experience and every lover has the potential to be a positive, healthy experience – whatever that looks like for you.
It is helpful to know what your sexual desires look like and what kinds of relationships you are interested in engaging in when choosing partners and communicating with them.
Knowing what you want, what your triggers are what you enjoy and being able to communicate this are all ways you can become a better lover to yourself and your partner(s).
And note: you deserve amazing sex, with amazing people! Simple.
5.) HOW DO YOU LIKE IT?
Your sexuality does not have to be defined by societal norms and how sexuality looks for other people. You can be single, dating, taking it slow or sleeping with whoever you like – but know that you are in control of what kind of relationships you can engage with now in your life, regardless of what it looked like in the past for you. As long as your intentions are honest and loving to yourself and the partner(s) you are with, you can give yourself the freedom to experiment, in whichever ways suit you best.
It often takes a conscious effort to start blossoming and enriching positive sexual experiences into your life. Remember that healing is not linear, so humbly accept the many ups and downs this healing path may lead you to, knowing there is pleasure waiting for you to experience!
Tantra: The path to Blissful Sex. Book by Leora Lightwoman, Piatkus, 2004